ericgooch

Ok, maybe that’s stretching things a bit. After all, I haven’t stayed at all of the KOA’s (Kampgrounds of America for those of you that have never heard of them) so I can’t really say whether or not it’s the absolute worst.

We did a little family camping for a couple of weeks, mainly driving through Washington and Oregon and doing the usual sightseeing/photography/camping type stuff. Some of the campgrounds were state parks, and a couple were KOA’s. Forrest Gump springs to mind, with the old “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” The same could be said of KOA’s…it’s basically a crap shoot. Some are nice, some suck.

As we approached the KOA in Cascade Locks, Oregon, our first indication  that something was amiss was when we first pulled up to the campground entrance. It was odd because well, we were in a neighborhood. I don’t know about you, but when I go camping, I want to go camping. Which means out in the woods, or the prairie, or by the ocean, you know, away from everything and everybody, or at least as much as possible. Instead, the campground entrance was across the street from houses, with well-manicured front lawns and cars parked in driveways. And I’m like, “What the hell is this?” and the wife doesn’t look pleased either.

We pull into the campground and check in at the front office. We find our Kabin (what is with these people and the need to intentionally misspell things? I guess KOA Cabin isn’t as Kute as Kabin.) We’re getting set up, and I hear this rumbling sound. I start to feel a vibration, and all of a sudden I hear a deafening “SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK” as the kindly engineer lays on the horn of the freight train, which is now careening down the tracks which are about ten feet from the campground.

Yes, there’s a freight line, that runs past the campground every few hours or so and ALL NIGHT LONG. Every time the train came through and woke me up, again, I couldn’t help think “What kind of an idiot builds a campground next to train tracks?” Then I thought about all the thousands of poor bastards that end up here each year, thinking they’ve found a nice quiet camping getaway, but instead have entered Kamper’s Hell. Avoid this place at all costs.

NOTE TO SELF:

From now on when planning camping trips, use google maps to check out an aerial photo of the site and make sure there are no train tracks (or neighborhoods) anywhere near the campsite.